i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
