READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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