it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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