No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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