Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
After last night, I could never be a politician.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
