im having a threesome with these popsicles
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
