PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
