Christians are straight up FREAKS
your thong is hanging out like whoa
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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