We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
