like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
