He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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