Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Too much gin, very little bucket
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
