I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
