R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Come share oat with me in your robe
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
