So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Randomize
