My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
he just fucked me for my cheese..
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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