I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
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