I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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