Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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