Can Purell be used as lube?
She announced her abortion via fbk
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Randomize
