Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i would punch a child for taco bell
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
