I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
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