How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
