So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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