Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
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