so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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