PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
