Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
