We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
