Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
