"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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