i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
