he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
