watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
