he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
