I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Just puked most of my soul out..
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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