Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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