i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
