yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
