...so i touched it.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
