butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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