is wine microwaveable?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
