I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
