Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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