I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
So many bounce houses so little time
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
