people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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