the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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