youre lurking in front of me
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
