Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
