Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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