I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
