Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
