sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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